A couple of months ago I walked through booth after booth in the Las Vegas Convention Center and I couldn’t help but wonder, “How the hell did I get here!?!?” If you had asked me a year ago if I would be at one of the biggest lighting and design conventions in the world, I would have asked you if such a thing even existed.
As long as I can remember I’ve had a very clear idea of what I thought would happen in my future. I figured I would go through the normal things like high school and college. Then I would go on to law school, get through with flying colors, pass the bar, start owning it at an awesome firm, and somewhere in there meet the man of my dreams and get married. In case you are wondering, I am not doing any of those things right now.
As I looked back at the last year I realized nothing is turning out the way I thought it would and, to be perfectly honest, I don’t think my life has ever really turned out the way I thought it would. For example, I got accepted to the high school I ended up attending 16 days before the year started. Then I went to a college I always swore I would never attend and ended up on the dance team instead of the soccer team. After graduating, I attended a music business program and ended up living in Nashville. My first year here was rough but I grew a lot from it and thankfully the uncomfortable road to a full-time job finally ended and I became an office manager for a tech company. Again, it’s not the kind of job I thought I would end up with and it’s in a field I was very unfamiliar with when I started. Somehow it is just what I need.
I’m not saying that my ideal future was necessarily unrealistic but I don’t think I took the unpredictability of life into consideration. My life turned out to be unintentionally more exciting than I could have expected. No matter how much I love to be the girl with the plan and to know what’s coming, I realize that it’s no fun to know the ending before you start. I’m not saying that my life is up to chance, but instead of me worrying and trying to plan it out myself, there is a God who’s already doing all of that for me. With that realization comes some fear that certain things might never happen for me. Thankfully, He is good and I’m trying to have more faith that He will do some good with my life, as He has clearly orchestrated.
So here’s to an unexpected 2016! Yes, there are some things I would like to accomplish during the year, but I think I’ll also give myself some grace to just live a bit and see where that takes me.